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emotion any further I told him what happened with T.J and broke down
in tears, a little heart broken from living in such a lie. He turned around
from his massage and sincerely paused for a second thinking he was
going to console me but instead he laughed at the very prospect of my
notion that monogamous relationships ever existed. “Are you serious, he
was only doing what every guy in the world does, you can’t hold that
against him”. I replied in a lighthearted gesture “whose side are you on
anyways”? His answer stuck with me for many years to come “T’m on
your side which is why I’m going to save you a lot of grief with this one
tip, Never expect a man to be faithful and you’ll never be let down, it’s
just the way us men are genetically imprinted.” The remainder of the
massage I had to pretend like f wasn’t further saddened by his response,
but in fact having to act enlightened. I would never come to him for any
other relationship advice, ever again. He told me I’d be fine if I just
listened to my mentor. He still loved role-playing the teacher and me the
pupil, like the old days before he got rich and only used to be a college
professor. I finished the massage and fulfilled my sexual duties before
being sent home wanting to collapse in anguish.
T.J was outside my apartment door when I got there, his mom waiting
downstairs in her minivan just in case I kicked him out again. He pleaded
his guilt and promised that he would never see her again, agreeing with
me that she was the town slut and he screwed up big time. I let him back
into my apartment and back into my life for that matter but more aware of
the world I was being led into believing was of normal conduct accepted
by everyone in this sick world. Jeffrey was going back to N.Y.C and told
me to have a few days off before his assistant at his office would arrange
an E-Ticket on a commercial flight for me to join him later in the week. I
had just made loads of money from my previous trip and wanted to relax
like any teenager does, so I threw a hotel party that weekend on Singer
Island in Rivera Beach, inviting only a small group of friends to begin
with.
The hotel room quickly filled up with a flood of teens and the pumping
music was blaring. The room had a balcony overlooking the pool and the
beach that became the smoker’s section. I wasn’t a real smoker at that
point, preferring to have a puff of a spiffed blunt instead so I made it my
rule to go outside trying to prevent holes in the carpet, but it didn’t last
too long when our forbidden walls came tumbling down. Making so
much money that { could supply my wild parties with an assortment of
drugs like trips, ecstasy, and coke as well as an abundance of alcohol, that
TJ had all the contacts for, made my fellow teens admire me. It definitely
gave me a head swell, thinking here I was so young but so grown up
already with all of my peers from high school looking up to me. In the
wee hours of the morning we were all still going hard with our eyes
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dilated into little black diamonds. We were all having in depth
conversations about life and where we would all end up when this
charade was all said done. Nobody got to sleep that night as the room
slowly dwindled in numbers as people were finding their way home to
recover from the repercussions of drugs wearing down out of their
intoxicated system.
When I flew out to N.Y.C to meet Jeffrey the next day, | was still in a
horrible state. Not knowing what was wrong with me, thinking it was just
a bad come down, I nished out of the elevator and down the hall to my
room, sweating profusely, to make it just in time to the toilet to throw up
bile again for the uncountable time since getting off the plane. 1 was
having intense cramps in my stomach and when | was called down to
meet Jeffrey in the massage room, I had to decline for the first time. | told
the housekeeper that I was feeling very ill after the flight, maybe some off
food for lunch and needed to lie down for a while. Nobody came up to
check on me for hours or even called. Waking up from my much-needed
nap, I pulled back the expensive white sheets to find myself in a pool of
my own sweat and blood. I was covered in the red stains that drenched
the pants I was wearing. I had no idea what was going on, [ could only
focus on the dire amount of pain I was in. In between the heaves of
throwing up and crying simultaneously I was able to reach the phone and
called the housemaid on the intercom. | told her 1 needed to go toa
hospital immediately and slammed the phone down only to fall back to
the floor hurdled in a ball. She didn’t hesitate in calling Ghislane who ran
up to see what was wrong. Ghislane then called Jeffrey who was in his
office at the time and told him to hurry up to my level, stressing to him
that it was an emergency. Thinking they really cared about me for the
first time since I had known them, they came with me to the hospital with
me. Now I realize I was only a liability in getting them caught and they
needed to get to the doctors before | could say anything incriminating.
They were suspecting the worst now and seeing he never wore a condom
with me and from our previous conversations they knew I always made
T.J wear one, they feared the situation at hand.
When he saw the catastrophic state I was in at that point, it was the
housemaid who helped me get up and assisted me down to the car where
Jo-Jo was waiting for me. He drove us to either Lennox Hill Hospital or
Mount Sinai, I can’t remember, as it was so blurry in such a bad
condition. Rushed in for immediate testing | was uncontrollably vomiting
and in so much agony, | was given an injection to help me to subside the
intense pain. A nurse came in to ask who would pay for this and although
l insisted my parents insurance still covered me, Jeffrey persisted that he
take care of all the medical bills and gave the nurse his information.
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