Roast transcript with vulgar jokes about Harlan, no substantive allegations

his girlfriend.” Robin and | were sitting next to each other, and we simultaneously crossed that joke off our imaginary lists. There were short-jokes galore. Have a few free samples: “Short? | carry a life-sized portrait of Harlan in my wallet.” “Harlan’ s parents were normal, but the milkman was a syphilitic dwarf.” And the producer of Twilight Zone, Phil de Guere, complained, “It took Harlan nine months before he figured out how to shoot himself in the foot at 7wilight Zone and get canned. But of all the people | have worked with, Harlan is by far the shortest. Harlan doesn’ t have a short fuse. He /sa short fuse.” My own short-joke was, “Actually, this isn’ t a roast. It’ s more like a microwave.” Robin said, “Harlan is a tall Paul Williams, a white Paul Simon.” | pointed out that “Harlan is on the right side of a lot of important fights. He’ s fought against racism and sexism. That’ s why this whole panel is white males.” A roast by definition overflows with irreverence, insults, and raunchiness. Examples: “If it’ s true that you are what you eat, Harlan would be a vagina.” Stan Lee of comic-book infamy said, “Harlan is a very difficult person to arouse. Ask any of his former wives.” And Robin contributed a metaphorical dick joke: “If you’ re hung like a field mouse, don’ t stand in the wind.” HOUSE_OVERSIGHT_015385