Personal narrative on spiritual experiences and testicular cancer, no actionable investigative leads

spontaneously along with an instantaneous knowing-how-it-is-with-you-and-|l-and- all-of-us that made even vicious killers appear sympathetic. Is this what the Charismatic New Testament Book Churches mean by redemption through forgiveness of others, requiring the genuine sincerity of this thought before qualifying for Communion? Is this Christ’s undemanding gift of grace as in Romans 4: where Paul observed that all of us fall short of the full glory of God unless justified freely by His grace. Was this the New Testament’s spiritual technological advance from the Old Testament’s and Koran’s eye-for-an-eye? Did this chemically triggered transcendent experience differ significantly from the supernatural transformation of individuals by the Holy Spirit of Christian revivalist teachings? Martin Marty, University of Chicago’s Professor of Modern Church History, dates the institutionalization of this personal transformation in the United States to the post- Civil War period. Did this mean that the mysteriously selfless love of Christian agape and the altruism of E.O. Wilson’s sociobiology lay waiting in the brain and could appear spontaneously, by grace, without lawful directive, repetitive recitation or the discipline of catechism? As one might have suspected, the urgency of my inner and outer search for a new spiritual ecology of mind was driven by more personal needs. My spiritual hunger was made acute a couple of years before our laboratory’s DMT discovery when as a 30 year old Assistant Professor of Psychiatry and Neuroscience at UCLA in West Los Angeles, | was living in a small, heavily mortgaged house in Brentwood with my graduate student wife and two young sons. A testicular lump was an accidental discovery made while showering. After surgical biopsy and radical lymph node dissection, the professor of urology gave me a diagnosis of right testicular choriocarcinoma. All by itself, my testicle had given birth to a mass containing all the embryological tissues of a fetus, and had thrown in some maternal placental cells Unlike now, when the group of testicular neoplasms are treated successfully with a high survival rate (think Lance Armstrong), at that time, follow up research of this young man’s disease by the Army Medical Corps promised a five- year survival rate of only 5% to 10%. The news filled me with fear and the ensuing hopeless resignation detached me from life with a dread broken up only by 93 HOUSE_OVERSIGHT_013593