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“There was a stage at one end,” Judge Thomas continued his description, “and the stage was facing rows
and rows of wooden folding chairs. There were haystacks piled up on the stage, and in front of the haystacks
there was a beautiful, buxom, blond woman—and a donkey. Well, the woman began disrobing and she started
stroking the donkey to arousal.”
‘“Doesn’t sound at all sleazy to me,” Senator Simpson said.
“Actually, it had Beethoven piano sonatas playing in the background,” Judge Thomas said. “Well, when
the woman was fully disrobed and the donkey was fully aroused, they began copulating, right there in front of
those haystacks on the stage of that barn. Slow and sensual. Then bumping and grinding away, accompanied by
passionate moans and wild braying. You’ve never seen a sight like this, I promise. And then the camera panned
slowly toward the audience . . . and the audience consisted entirely of donkeys.”
The Senate office shook with raucous laughter, especially that of Judge Thomas. His booming guffaws
rang like huge gongs in a church belfry. And, I must admit, I had to suppress my own laughter. I had been totally
caught by surprise, but I appreciated getting the insight. Homo sapiens is, in reality, the only species that has a
need for pornography.
When the group’s laughter finally began to simmer down, Senator Hatch said, “I suppose that movie was
one of the demands of the animal rights people.”
“That’s correct,” Senator Simpson added. “Saving animals’ lives is no longer enough. They need culture.”
I felt like I was imprisoned in the boys’ locker room, but I was getting ready to force myself to leave
anyway, and it would have ended right there for me if the subject matter hadn’t returned to Anita Hill.
“T’m glad nobody considered calling her to testify against me, even for a closed-door session,” Judge
Thomas said. “But you fellas will really love this. Anita Hill was a very opinionated young lady. Actually, she
and I once had an extremely animated discussion on the decriminalization of abortion. Can you imagine what
the Democrats would’ve done with that?”
And that was the precise instant I made the decision to leak Professor Hill’s statement to the press. Although
I have constantly been sexually hassled, I have never really been harassed in the /egal sense of the word.
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