DS9 Document EFTA00757048

From To: "Jeffrey Epstein" Subject: answers Date: Sat, 28 Aug 2010 05:22:22 +0000 I thought I was being very blunt and transparent in how I am communicating with you but I can exaggerate it even more. What I want is, and always has been, simple. I love you and I want a life with you. LOVE being the most important component. I don't want to worry you might leave after the next argument because you haven't made up your mind about me yet. I want a fun, peaceful, happy life. I like the freedom to play and changing the rules to customize the relationship, but I want security to know we can work through any issues, get through the rough times and still know we love each other. I want a commitment, I want to get married one day. For me it is a no-brainer, I think we were made for each other, just needed to work out the practicalities, figure out how to fit the pieces together and keep adjusting them as we go. We didn't do that. I am realistic and I am fully aware how bold my hopes are and I am disciplined enough not to hang onto a fantasy if I can't make it come true. That's why I gave up and left. My decision was based on your ambivalence and apprehension when it came to our relationship, not on what I wanted. After 7 years you have to know whether you want to share your life with someone and make it work or find someone else. You know you've hurt me, you did things that drove me crazy and didn't do certain things I wish you did, but I see all the positive, I know who you are, I don't question the fact you are remarkable and that translates into my feelings for you. I didn't want you to be with me if you know it's wrong, if you think there is someone better for you, if you want to keep looking, you are not sure, you keep your guard up... I don't know how to say this to make it sound any more sincere...If doing the things you mention, errands, cooking, working on projects are more important factors in choosing your life partner than personality, character, chemistry or love, there are plenty of willing girls you can screen, hire and be really happy with. I wish it was that easy for me too. I don't share these values and I really don't understand them so I can't identify with what you are even thinking. Even now I find it impossible to read you. I have no idea how you actually feel and what you actually want with respect to us. I can only interpret the lack of candor and avoiding big answers as a sign you have nothing nice to say. But in that case, I don't understand why you don't just tell me the truth. We already broke up so you have nothing to lose. I don't know what you are afraid of unless you don't actually trust me and think I will cause you problems. You can relax, I will never break that promise! You can lose me but you can't lose my loyalty. This actually is a one-way deal and you will have that forever regardless of how you behave. I am looking for a fresh start and as I told you, I am finding it very difficult to move on without a real closure. I thought I could make the decision for you by leaving Paris but it doesn't really work that way. Nothing you say can make the situation harder for me so I just want to hear you make a real, clear and final verdict about our relationship. I don't even need explanations, just tell me you are all out or all in so we can continue on with our lives. There is no middle road here. I hear you say your thinking is not clear.. but what does that mean, what is it you are thinking and what do you expect me to do? Wait another 6 months? That would be unbearable at this stage. Jeffrey, it's been too long already and there is not that much to think about. You already know the answer. You can respond to this email now or take time until our anniversary if you think your mind will clear up, but please don't leave me in this place any longer. From: Jeffrey E stein < To: < Sent: Thu, August 26, 2010 12:35:47 AM Subject: I have attempted to make clear , that I am aware that my thinking is less than it should be. I am doing my best to regain my wits.-- regarding and all the rest. I belive I did what was agreed. she was told to leave. EFTA00757048 ONLY because we had a deal , that i kept. you choose to ignore that fact , but focus only on not what was done,only or I offered you life security in exchange for , doing as i asked, you chose to decline and did what you wanted . I told you what i thought had to be done to maintain your visa, you chose your own path and disregarded my advice, . I offered you a life in return for doing as i asked, you chose to do as you pleased, against all my attempts. You chose not to take my offers. and follow your own advice. I am confused as to what you want now. you have made your choice. over and over,. My discipline , however allows me to know my current decision process is faulty, I need to rest. On Aug 25, 2010, at 2:00 PM,_ a> wrote: No, not really. I need answers and closure. I've loved you for a long time, I've been sure about you. Now to be able to get over it and find something else to want, I need your help. I need you to be straightforward and honest because I can't function like this and I have exhausted all other options. Not that they are not fun, but they are not helpful. You told me the truth aboutM so now tell me about us. I need you to say you know what you are doing. Tell me you don't love me anymore or you just don't love me enough, tell me you found someone else or tell me you want to keep looking because I am just not the girl you want to be with. Anything that means you know. I need you to let me go because I can't do it on my own. Then you can say Enough EFTA00757049