Personal reflections on polyamory and relationship stereotypes

potential partners might not be. I already tend towards emotional caginess and am sometimes accused of being way too emotionally controlled -- I'm worried that I'll be read as a "player" (or a "slut") by people who write me off as a result. I'm also worried that some may be attracted to me because they see me as an emotionless player, whether they admit it or not -- indeed, even if they don't admit it to themselves -- and will be annoyed if I turn out not to be that way. Stereotypes and assumptions are tricky to root out whether we're aware of them or not. Some days, I get nervous that the guys who are going to be willing to talk about and process relationships in the depth that I'm looking for, with a degree of acknowledged emotional commitment, are all monogamous. Then I remind myself of how many awesome polyamorous men I know, and also that I'm falling for stereotypes yet again, just by having these fears. 5. Other questions: How open am I to casual relationships that don't seem to be going in an emotional direction, given that I don't have to give up on more serious relationships to have them? How does being poly change breakup dynamics? In the absence of monogamy, are there different signifiers that a relationship is serious -- or is getting serious? How can I get better at both giving and reading those signifiers? What are the other poly stereotypes I've internalized, and how do I act against them? What are the other poly stereotypes I should look out for from others? 6. Sigh. Rereading all my questions and rethinking all my thoughts makes me feel somewhat exhausted. Relationships are hard, and hacking the expected models makes them hopefully more fulfilling... but also so much more complicated. My life seems so weird sometimes; a week doesn't go by that I don't wonder why I'm not getting a nice typical job and settling down with a white picket fence and the monogamous husband and having 2.5 kids. That is not actually what I want, but sometimes the image seems seductively easy. te ok ok This can be found on the Internet at: SEX WORK: [storytime] One Blurred Edge of Sex Work: Portrait of a Sugar Baby HOUSE_OVERSIGHT_018608